Negligible demands

“Oon ylisuorittaja, erikoissuoriutuja,
ja näyttää siltä et tää kuorma ei tuu puolittumaan.
Se vapauttaa ku tajuut, et’ oot vastuus siit
se muuttaa maailman ja asenteet vastuksiin.”
Elastinen – Mikään muu ei merkkaa

As the summer ends, many end their holidays as well and everyday life comes along with work-, studies and familylife. During the holiday hopefully many has been able to relax, secede from everyday life and let go of demands that perhaps surroundings set in everyday life.

My scholl will officially start in few weeks but I’ve been doing tutor things already. At the beginning I have some holiday days left but still days when I have a lot to do. This kind of “part-time” start has given me a chance to examine my manners, how I relate to stress and especially look what kind of things are expected of me.

Frankly speaking I’ve had the feeling that a lot of is required of me. That I should take care of all things well, be up to date, on alert and get things running and be fixex on time. This easily causes me stress, pressure and might even affect on the relationships with others.

One day I stopped to think that where does this demands come from? Who says like this? I thought about my family, friends, teacher, all the people that somehow are related to the things I’m doing. I thought of what kind of feedback I’ve gotten from them of my working, what we have discussed etc.

By stopping I realized that in reality the biggest demands are set by me. The greatest whipper and cause of stress is me. I demand a lot from myself, I demand perfection. Outside source have demanded that certain things will be done but it’s me who has set the bar high. Then I wonder why I’m exhausted from time to time and stressed when I don’t have the energy to jump over the bar.

For my own sake my childhood surroundings taught me that everything has to be perfect. I have to get along, I have to know how. I have to be the best in everything. However human resources are limited and even though you would be very good in something, it doesn’t mean that you can be constantly the best and work over your limits. Nobody can’t be perfect all the time.

Instead that I’d focus on for example getting good grades, I think it would be important that people could focus on exceeding themselves. To challenge, to step outside the comfort zone, to develope and grow. In the end it doesn’t matter how perfectly you manage you life but how can you be yourself, to overcome your fears and develop and grow.

With love, Anu-Maarit