Outside of the comfort zone

“Elevate yourself to the next plateau,
not trying to make sense of it all, just go.
The mind state to life, nobody knows but me,
when I get there I swear I’m home.”
Rebelution – Comfort Zone

Comfort zone. The abstract are which existence everyone knows but which can’t be seen. Which everyone has but in different sizes. Though it’s invisible and it’s hard to define its borders everyone know when you are in or out of the comfort zone. You can feel it if you there or not.

We get recommendations to test our borders, go outside of our comfort zone. Many of us has heard the proverb: “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” The proverb could be interpret so that there’s no life at the comfort zone. Rather it courages us to test our borders, to go even little outside of our comfort zone.

However it’s not easy to come out from the comfort zone. It’s a safe, familiar, warm and cozy place. Inside of my comfort zone I know how I should behave. I know what kind of things others expect from me. I don’t need to face my deepest wounds, fears if I just stay safely inside of my comfort zone. I don’t need to change anythingin me, life goes on as it has this far.

We have different kind of comfort zones, mostly they are defined by what we are used to. What kind of behaviour from others is safe and sound? My comfort zone was defined when I was a child, when I had to face judgement, disapprovement, underestimations, emotional abuse. For me safe and sound was the behaviour where I was underestimated, my needs and matters were not interested, I don’t have any walue. Others would behave as if I wouldn’t exist, as if I would be invisible.

For a long time I stayed in that comfort zone because I imagined that it’s the only thing that I deserve. For me it was safe and sound that I was underestimated, teased, regarded as nothing. Nevertheless it didn’t make me feel an better thus dragged me deeper to depression and made me hate myself even more. It took a long time that I could identify from where and why my comfort zone was formed. It took a lot of courage that I could step outside of the comfort zone, that I had the courage to demand myself better.

A few days ago my mother said to me: “Be happy that you’re not at your comfort zone.” She was right. Though comfort zone is safe and sound and stepping outside is scary, it’s worth it. I rather face my fears and endure uncertainty for a while that the change requires than hangingin the old, trap myself inside of old borders. In the end life truly starts when you have the courage to step outside of your comfort zone.

With love, Anu-Maarit