What did happen?

“It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me
And I’m feeling good
I’m feeling good”
Nina Simone – Feeling good

When I started to keep this blog about a two years ago the idea was to write for myself. I was in a need for a chanel where I could write down my thoughts. There was no objectives with the blog. I wanted to write because it was my passion. Meanwhile I thought that if I publish my texts public then maybe somebody would find something from them: courage, comfort, hope, what ever one needs.

At the beginning the writing was quite effortless and I wrote whenever I felt like I had something to say. I published my texts every now and then, irregularly. I was happy if someone had read my blog or I received comments about it. However I was still writing for myself.

Until came the fatal day, exactly one year ago when I posted the following text to facebook:

After this post I starte to write regularly. I published a new blog text every Saturday at 15:00. At the beginning this also felt effortless, I wrote texts in advance. I started to follow more closely how many are reading my blog. I yearned for likes, comments, readers. I imagined that I’ll gain it by doing like other bloggers: I’ll post regularly.

“God damnit, it’s Saturday again. What I’m gonna write now?”  In the autumn that phrase became constant. Saturdays started to feel stressfull. I should publish a blog text but from what topic? Often I sat stearing an empty page and trying to come up with something. Then came the day when I had enough.

For a few months now I’ve been having a pause of blog writing. During that time I’ve been wondering where did all these demands come from? How did it happen like this? I found the answer when I walked in front of the mirror. I had set myself an objective, a level that I should reach. I though that because others then I must as well. If I want to get readers then I hae to publish regularly. I have to be productive.

Writing is a creative process. It rarely works by forcing. By writing forced, one blocks the creative source. It starts to over analyse and wonder, what should be written. No more is written by heart but more with sense. Not for oneself but for others.

The New Year has changed so let’s take a new start for this blog. This time I’m merciful for me and write when I feel like and still – for myself.

With love, Anu-Maarit

Animals mind

“Let it go, let it go,
can’t hold it back anymore.
Let it go, let it go,
turn away and slam the door.”
Idina Menzel – Let it go

In my life I’ve had three types of fourlegs: tortoises, dogs and cats. Each of these combines one thing – everyone has an animal mind. Regardless of how I feel myself animals always greet me enthusiastically and with open arms. Though I would say bad things they don’t remember it. Animals always live in the present.

Unfortunately the human mind works otherwise. We remember that happened a year ago, last week, yesterday. We get stuck on words, actions. We might blame ourselves for things that happened a long time ago. Animals would have forgotten those things and carried on with he life. Still we humans want to stay stuck.

Often we ourselves get stuck in the situations. We are ashamed of what we did, we might ponder on our actions for a long time. If you would ask from others probably they have forgotten the situation or not even notice about it. We burden ourselves a lot by stucking on things that we can’t change anymore.

Luckily we can train our minds and pursue the same as the animals: live in the moment and let go of the past. At least my mind is so overdriven and thinking too much so I’m gonna follow my cats and do as they do: relax and let go.

With love, Anu-Maarit

Peace from the nature

“Maailma on kaunis ja hyvä elää sille,
jolla on aikaa ja tilaa unelmille
ja mielen vapaus, ja mielen vapaus.
On vapautta istua iltaa yksinänsä
ja tuntea tutkia omaa sisintänsä
ja elää elämäänsä, ja elää elämäänsä.”
Irwin Goodman – Maailma on kaunis

From time to time it’s good to change environment, go outside from home, from those everyday stimulants and just be. In the nature it’s the best place to calm oneself, listen to onself and just recharge.

Because this kind of rare opportunity has been granted for me so this time I won’t write that deep blogpost but rather go outside to enjoy of the nature, quiet and recharge.

Remember to take care of yourselfs because when you take care of yourselfs then you have the energy to take care of others. And from time to time leave the phones and social media and just be – either with yourself or the people dear to you.

With love, Anu-Maarit