Responsible adult

“And all my life,
I’ve been waiting for someone like you,
to make me smile.
You make me feel alive
and you’re giving me everything,
I’ve ever wanted in life.”
Sixx:A.M. – Smile

How wonderful it would be that someone would take care of me. That someone would say that I’m precious, important and lovable. Make me feel that I’m accepted as I am. Make me believe that I can do anything and encourages my dreams. Remind how wonderful and beautiful human I am.

There’s a human like that – me. Unfortunately too often we expect these comments from outside. That someone else would remind us of the importance of our existence. Makes us feel ourselves imporant and loved. Tell who precious we are.

Durig this spring I noticed that I was feeling frustrated. I was frustrated with the fact that no matter how hard I tried to do things so that everyone else would feel better I did’nt feel better. I was even a bit angry to others because I gave them my time and energy and I necessarily even didn’t get a thanks. All for nothing I thought.

Afterwards I realized that I searched from the others something I couldn’t give for myself – a sense of purpose. I yearned from others feedback and thanks to feel myself significant and important. When I didn’t receive this feedback I felt disappointed. Even though I genuinely wanted to do good for others I realized afterwards that I was selfish and thinking about myself.

It wasn’t easy to admit that I’m responsible for my own feelings. If I lack of something, no matter how easy it would be to blame others there’s no point in blaming. Instead people should focus on themselves and observe what’s the emotion that I’m looking for? What I want from others that I can’t give for myself?

If I’m unable to take care of my own needs and emotions but rather need someone else to do that, then I’m dependent of others. If I want to be with someone just because I want to feel certain emotions then I’m in a relationship on wrong basis. The relationship wont last if the foundations are not strong.

When I start to give for myself the things that I expect from others, inevitably others will start to react to that as well. Kinda miracle happens and I start to attract more what I give out. When I don’t expect others to make me happy only then I can achieve true happiness because I’m responsible for that. I know the best what I need and I’m capable of giving it for myself. I’m worth it.

With love, Anu-Maarit