“Kaikki loputon kauneus, kaikki järjettömyys,
kaikki ruoskivat toiveet, kaikki päättämättömyys,
ovat lopulta tarkoituksen palasia, osa arvoitusta.
Valot pimeyksien reunoilla.”
Apulanta – Valot pimeyksien reunoilla
The start of the week was blessed with many things which prevented me from spending time properly at home. All day long I was taking care of matters and finally when I got home, I was so tired that I almost went to sleep immediately. On the day that I wrote this blog entry I had such a day behind when I was home from the early evening but had to go back to the city center to take care of some matters.
Finally when I got home in the evening I nearly kissed the floor. For a moment I just sat on the floor and just stared at the wall. While I’m writing this text on the background is playing Frédéric Chopin’s Ballade No. 1, G Minor op 23. In the living room three candles were lit, the apartment was dimly lighted. The cats wandered from room to another, from time to time jumping on my lap to get some attention.
In that moment home felt the best place on earth. When I had been away and once I returned I was able to appreciate in a different way all the comforts that home offers: shelter, warmth, peace and love. While I became aware of how wonderful it feels to come back home, I became aware of another important matter of my life.
Finally I got an answer to the question why? Why did this happen to me? The answer is so that I could see the beauty of life and appreciate it. Now I can say with a good conscience that I’m grateful for following:
Thank you for understatements – I know how it feels like and I will not do the same to others
Thank you that people have teased me – I can value the people who encourage and support
Thank you for losses – I can be grateful for everyday
Thank you for loneliness – I can enjoy when I’m surrounded with people
Thank you for mistakes – I have learnt from them
Thank you for the faults in my skin of the wounds and scarves – I can value inner beauty
Thank you for all the hardships – they make me stronger
Every coin has its backside. You can either stare at the wrong side and wonder why things wont change or flip the coin around and marvel its beauty. I believe that every hardship makes us stronger and takes us closer to the authentic, marvelous human we are.
The only thing we can affect in this life is ourselves. We can either cling to the past and bemoan how life has treated us or turn matters around and be grateful for the experience that enables us to see the beauty of life. The choice is yours.
With love, Anu-Maarit